Caring with Confidence: Dementia Care

Caring for individuals living with dementia, whether they are clients, patients, or beloved family members, is a deeply personal, often complex, and challenging journey. It is a role that demands resilience, patience, and a willingness to adapt to ever-changing circumstances.

The emotional toll on carers can be significant, ranging from moments of confusion and frustration to emotional states of depression, sorrow, fatigue and to feeling inadequate. But by choosing different approaches, carers are once again able to apply compassionate, effective caring strategies that remove many of the associated frustrations and emotional states. The below guide are real life observations, strategies and experiences by dementia caregivers, offering insights and strategies that have helped others reduce frustration, guilt or failure and provide enjoyment, control and compassion in the work place once again, .

• Family and Friends: Assertiveness also involves setting healthy boundaries with others who may unintentionally cause stress whether by offering unsolicited advice, questioning your decisions, or underestimating the demands of caregiving. Educate them when possible and be clear about what is and isn’t helpful. You do not need to justify every decision, but you can communicate openly about what kind of support you truly need.

• Asking for Help: Being assertive includes knowing when to ask for help. You don’t have to, and shouldn’t have to, do everything alone. Whether it’s seeking respite care, in-home assistance, or reaching out to support groups, leaning on others is a sign of strength, not weakness. Finding alternative people, such as loved ones,  to do tasks such as meal prep, transportation, or even companionship visits can provide you with much-needed breaks and reduce caregiver burnout.

FIRST and FOREMOST; PATIENCE

Patience is one of the most essential virtues when caring for someone with dementia.

It’s not just about waiting calmly — it's about understanding, accepting, and

responding with compassion in challenging moments. This patience needs to extend in

three key directions: toward yourself, toward the person with dementia, and toward

others involved in their care.

• Be Patient With Yourself

Caring for someone with dementia can be emotionally draining and mentally exhausting. You may feel frustration, guilt, or even grief at times. Remind yourself that you're doing the best you can. Mistakes will happen, and that’s okay. Allow yourself space to breathe, rest, and ask for help. You are human, and your well-being matters, too.

• Be Patient With the Person With Dementia

Dementia causes memory loss, confusion, and changes in behavior that can be hard to witness. The person you’re caring for may repeat questions, forget important details, or react emotionally in ways that don’t seem logical. Try to remain calm and understanding. Remember, their behavior is not intentional—it’s a symptom of the disease. Speak slowly, offer reassurance, and provide simple choices when possible

• Be Patient With Others

Family members, friends, and even healthcare professionals may approach dementia care differently. Misunderstandings and disagreements can occur, especially under stress. Practice empathy and open communication. Everyone involved likely has the same goal: to provide the best care and comfort for the person living with dementia.

• Be Patient With Yourself

Caring for someone with dementia is emotionally demanding. You’ll make mistakes — that’s normal. Give yourself permission to rest, reflect, and ask for support. Your well-being matters, too.

• Be Patient With the Person With Dementia

Dementia affects memory, behavior, and emotions. Repetition, confusion, or agitation are not intentional. Stay calm, speak gently, and offer simple choices.

• Be Patient With Others

Care approaches vary, and tensions may arise. Communicate openly and empathetically. Everyone shares the goal of supporting the person with dementia.

HELPFUL STRATAGIES

1. Practice Self-Forgiveness

Caring for someone with dementia comes without a clear roadmap. Every individual and situation is unique, and missteps are inevitable. Recognize that mistakes are part of the learning process, not a reflection of failure. Extend grace to yourself, you are navigating a complex, emotionally demanding role, and your effort matters more than perfection.

2. Avoid Turning to Food or Alcohol for Comfort

During stressful times, it's natural to seek comfort in food or drink. However, these coping strategies often provide only temporary relief and can leave you feeling worse, both physically and emotionally, in the long run. Try to acknowledge stress without numbing it; seek healthier outlets that support your long-term well-being.

3. Speak Openly and Often

Don’t carry the emotional weight of caregiving alone. Share your thoughts and experiences with those you trust: a spouse, siblings, close friends, or members of a dementia support group. Opening up not only provides emotional release but also fosters understanding and connection among those who may be walking a similar path.

4. Express Yourself Through Writing

Writing can be a powerful tool for reflection and emotional clarity. Maintain a private journal where you can freely “dump” your thoughts without judgment. Alternatively, send a letter or email to someone who understands your journey, or participate in online forums for caregivers. Written expression often helps in processing emotions that are hard to articulate verbally.

5. If it is Your Calling, Lean Into Faith or Spirituality

In moments when the demands of caregiving feel overwhelming or hopeless, turn to your faith or spiritual beliefs for comfort and strength. Whether it’s through prayer, meditation, reading sacred texts, or simply finding peace in nature, connecting to something greater than yourself can offer grounding and perspective.

6. Manage Stress Through Physical Activity

Exercise remains one of the most effective ways to manage caregiver stress. Whether it’s walking, swimming, biking, or dancing, movement helps release endorphins and serotonin natural chemicals that support emotional balance. Physical activity also enhances resilience and supports the stamina you need for your caregiving responsibilities

7. Communicate Clearly; Avoid Assumptions

Assumptions can create unnecessary misunderstandings, especially during emotionally charged situations. Clarify information, ask direct questions, and seek accurate details. Be thoughtful about whom you turn to for advice, and document new insights or medical updates as they arise. Clear, open communication protects everyone involved, especially the person with dementia.

 8. Healthcare Professionals: Be proactive in medical appointments. Prepare questions in advance, take notes, and don’t hesitate to ask for clarification when something is unclear. If you feel that symptoms are being overlooked or if care recommendations don’t align with your loved one’s needs, speak up. Request second opinions when appropriate and ensure that the care plan reflects both medical needs and quality of life considerations.

9. Don’t Take Things Personally

Dementia often causes changes in mood, behavior, and personality. If the person in your care becomes irritable, accusatory, or withdrawn, remind yourself: it’s the disease, not you. Similarly, criticism from others may stem from their own unresolved emotions — guilt, denial, or helplessness. Wherever possible, respond with calm, and avoid reacting impulsively. If you're feeling overwhelmed, pause and give yourself time to cool down before addressing the issue. Experience has shown that reacting in the heat of the moment rarely leads to productive outcomes.

10. Involve The Person

Involve the love one or client in decision-making as much as possible, especially during the early stages of the condition, to help maintain their sense of dignity, self-worth, and independence. Encourage their input on daily choices—such as meals, clothing, or activities—and include them in more significant discussions about their care, living arrangements, or future planning. This respectful approach fosters empowerment and helps them feel valued and heard.

Additional Suggestions:

• Keep a caregiving log to track symptoms, behaviors, and medications. This can be a powerful tool when discussing care plans with relevant services.

• Know your rights as a caregiver—especially if you're coordinating with government services, insurance providers, or care facilities.

By maintaining a firm yet respectful voice, you can ensure that both you and your loved one are treated with the dignity and attention you deserve throughout the caregiving journey.

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DISCLAIMER

The information presented in this blog is compiled from various independent industry professionals and media sources and is intended for informational and educational purposes only. While A.C.A. staff have over 3 decades of experience in the aged care and disability industry, we are not medical clinicians. The content provided should not be interpreted as professional medical advice. For medical concerns, diagnoses, or treatment, always consult a qualified general practitioner (GP) or licensed healthcare clinician.